So the other night as I was coming up from the lobby in my building, a tall woman raced into the elevator just before the doors closed to join me for the trip up. For any man who is both A) married and b) has cable television, the face on the woman was readily identifiable -- it was Stacy London from "What not to wear." Her facial features and fashion sense make her easy to recognize.
http://www.thefashionablehousewife.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/stacy.jpg
For the three married men in the world who haven't been forced to watch this show at some point in their lives, its basic premise is simple.
Step One. Find someone who doesn't dress "well" according to the world's standards.
Step Two. Immediately presume that not dressing well is a reflection of that person's low self-esteem.
Step Three. Fix the way that person dresses -- problems of dress and self-esteem are solved instantly.
I will confess that on more than one occasion, despite my best efforts NOT to pay attention, I have been sucked into the drama of watching these "ugly ducklings" have their lives transformed. Often, though not always, the "before" person is an insecure woman, dressed in dowdy clothes that try to hide her body from the world. By the time the 30 minute program has finished, the show's bashful participant has been "transformed" into a confident woman replete with a new wardrobe of the latest fashions. In every respect, the "transformation" has appeared to have its intended effect -- deep issues of insecurity covered by sets of beautiful new clothes.
As I reflect on it though, I wonder why the show rarely if ever does follow-ups. I wonder what these women are dressed like in one month, three months, six months... a year from the completion of the "transformation." See the problem is that the world's fashions fade. They constantly have to be updated... If you don't hit the stores every week, you risk falling behind. And if you fall behind, the original wound that these woman were working so hard to hide from the world is re-exposed.
In some ways, I wonder if the show actually makes the problems worse for these women. Can you imagine the feeling of exposure and nakedness you might have if, after going on the show and being "transformed," you regressed back to your old habits? If you felt like a failure BEFORE, I can't even imagine the self-loathing AFTER failing. What hope do you have then? Getting to go on the show "What not to not wear?" And, yet, I am willing to wager that over a long enough time horizon -- ALL of them fail to keep up. Even Stacy London will eventually fail to keep up. The task that is set before these women is just too great -- to cover our shame with constantly changing new clothes?
Before I sound too condemning of the show and its premise, it is worth remember two things: 1) there is nothing actually wrong with wanting to look nice 2) I am just as bad about wanting to "fix" my own problems with a quick cover-up as anyone else.
Briefly, where there is no law, there is no sin. Jesus never tells us "don't look nice or dress up nice." He merely tells us not to get too distracted by the world's fashion. If we place fashion above Him, then we're creating a meaningless idol out of fashion -- a road that ultimately leads to bondage and death. If we can enjoy the pleasures of clothes without being dependent on having them to drive our sense of self worth, we should feel free to enjoy fashion. If we can't, then we need to give it up. This is an individual level decision that is between us and Jesus -- no one else can know what is on our hearts, so we can't allow anyone else to "tell us" our own answer. Similarly, it isn't our place to judge someone else for having nice clothes.
Lastly, I am as guilty as anyone at trying to use different "outfits" to cover my insecurity and wounds. It always seems easier to try on my be a "good father," " good provider," or "good athlete" persona, than to deal with the REAL problem -- me. I am the problem. I am not good enough and I will never be good enough no matter how hard I try. Just like these women, despite my secret hope that I can "fix" myself, deep inside I know I can't. I can try to "cover" my shame with different things that the world values, but as long as I do this, I will remain deeply vulnerable.
My real hope, the participants' real hope, rests in admitting that our hearts are turned inwards -- they are selfish and self-righteous, worthy of being ashamed of... Thankfully, Jesus tells us what to wear. He is willing to cover us in His glory and righteousness, even though we don't deserve it. All we have to do is to recognize our need for Him and receive the blessing of the Holy Spirit. Now THAT is a cool looking outfit.
Praise the Lord.
CPP
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