he said. "ultimately, i'm doing this for me." -chad kellogg, seattle, washington. speed climber. october 15th, 2011.
this morning on the front page of the nytimes, there is an article about the 'new breed of climbers' around the world -- those who are trying to set speed records ascending difficult routes. they are tackling routes that used to take days or even weeks of planning in hours.
there was a time, not that long ago, in fact, where reading an article like this would inspire me. i loved reading about obsessive training regimes, the meaning found in intense suffering and generally sharing in the apparent excitement of an individual capable of rising above himself -- transcending the rest of humanity. for a moment, it appeared to me, perhaps these people could find a way to justify themselves before everyone... they could accomplish something so marvelous that their exhaustive efforts would complete the circle. they would have 'done it.' they would have saved themselves and their efforts would give them a claim to righteousness.
see what appears like asceticism to some -- complete with a "monk-like" self-discipline in pursuit of a seemingly impossible physical task, is, at its core, just humanist philosophy. i, like so many of us, am SO vulnerable to it, because as a human being it is woven into my bankrupt heart to believe "i can do it." this is the same belief system all humanist philosophy throughout the ages has preached to our hearts and though its expression is different (athletics instead of arts), the core message is the same. its siren call is seductive precisely because it preaches to what my heart wants -- salvation that doesn't have to include me forfeiting claims to greatness. just like chad kellogg, i can say "i'm doing this for me."
it is predictable how this story ends -- these people, even chad kellogg, can't save themselves; none of us can. there is always something that gets in the way of the perfection we seek -- it is ourselves. the greatest athletes and the greatest artists who perform for their own glory ALWAYS find this truth out about themselves in the end -- "i'm not good enough." lost of hope even in themselves, they often end up miserable and suicidal. history and current events are replete with examples -- from leonardo da vinci and william shakespeare to mike tyson and tiger woods... each generation of humanist philosophers who say, "ultimately i'm doing this for me," find out the hard way that not only can they can never achieve the perfection they seek, but also they, in of themselves, are not a cause worth living for. in that moment of course, God's grace and God's promise finds its best opportunity to take hold. after all, what is the good news except the truth about ourselves -- that we are fallen and inadequate, coupled with the truth about Him -- that he loves us all the same and we are justified through Christ.
before i judge too harshly, however, it bears remembering that, in my own small and less dramatic ways, i do the same thing chad kellogg does each day. every time i approach a task without recognizing that I am a sinner and without giving Him the glory, i run the risk of falling back on claims to my own righteousness. it might sound ridiculous, but even things as simple as making a good cup of coffee. if i make my wife a really good cup of coffee, without praising God, pretty soon i'm feeling self-satisfied about my coffee making abilities. if i do it for long enough, pretty soon i will be convinced that if i can JUST make the PERFECT cup of coffee then i can save myself. sound crazy? yeah, well i never said i wasn't a peccator.
going to go have my morning cup of java and praise the Lord.
this morning on the front page of the nytimes, there is an article about the 'new breed of climbers' around the world -- those who are trying to set speed records ascending difficult routes. they are tackling routes that used to take days or even weeks of planning in hours.
there was a time, not that long ago, in fact, where reading an article like this would inspire me. i loved reading about obsessive training regimes, the meaning found in intense suffering and generally sharing in the apparent excitement of an individual capable of rising above himself -- transcending the rest of humanity. for a moment, it appeared to me, perhaps these people could find a way to justify themselves before everyone... they could accomplish something so marvelous that their exhaustive efforts would complete the circle. they would have 'done it.' they would have saved themselves and their efforts would give them a claim to righteousness.
see what appears like asceticism to some -- complete with a "monk-like" self-discipline in pursuit of a seemingly impossible physical task, is, at its core, just humanist philosophy. i, like so many of us, am SO vulnerable to it, because as a human being it is woven into my bankrupt heart to believe "i can do it." this is the same belief system all humanist philosophy throughout the ages has preached to our hearts and though its expression is different (athletics instead of arts), the core message is the same. its siren call is seductive precisely because it preaches to what my heart wants -- salvation that doesn't have to include me forfeiting claims to greatness. just like chad kellogg, i can say "i'm doing this for me."
it is predictable how this story ends -- these people, even chad kellogg, can't save themselves; none of us can. there is always something that gets in the way of the perfection we seek -- it is ourselves. the greatest athletes and the greatest artists who perform for their own glory ALWAYS find this truth out about themselves in the end -- "i'm not good enough." lost of hope even in themselves, they often end up miserable and suicidal. history and current events are replete with examples -- from leonardo da vinci and william shakespeare to mike tyson and tiger woods... each generation of humanist philosophers who say, "ultimately i'm doing this for me," find out the hard way that not only can they can never achieve the perfection they seek, but also they, in of themselves, are not a cause worth living for. in that moment of course, God's grace and God's promise finds its best opportunity to take hold. after all, what is the good news except the truth about ourselves -- that we are fallen and inadequate, coupled with the truth about Him -- that he loves us all the same and we are justified through Christ.
before i judge too harshly, however, it bears remembering that, in my own small and less dramatic ways, i do the same thing chad kellogg does each day. every time i approach a task without recognizing that I am a sinner and without giving Him the glory, i run the risk of falling back on claims to my own righteousness. it might sound ridiculous, but even things as simple as making a good cup of coffee. if i make my wife a really good cup of coffee, without praising God, pretty soon i'm feeling self-satisfied about my coffee making abilities. if i do it for long enough, pretty soon i will be convinced that if i can JUST make the PERFECT cup of coffee then i can save myself. sound crazy? yeah, well i never said i wasn't a peccator.
going to go have my morning cup of java and praise the Lord.
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