just enough...

Raising little ones is suprisingly hard.

Which can too bad from my perspective.

My wife has again been spending hours with a tot who has found it’s fun to be held and the best way to stay held is to cry when put down. Feeding the tot takes several hours a day. The tot’s older sister has arranged 40 forks on the floor around a table in the yellow room and neatly placed her Halloween costumes on the furniture. She has gotten good with scissors, but not so good at cleaning up. Her ideal day is 8 hours of play, 3 hours of reading and maybe 30 seconds for bath, brushing teeth, cleaning up and getting dressed and undressed.

Most often, my wife will sort out and clean all this up before anyone from the outside world arrives, and I will chip in here and there... I filled in full time a while back, with plenty of babysitting help, and it was exhausting. Not just exhausting but you have to have complete organization or things spiral.

So, when I get home after a day of work that is easier than taking care of two little ones, I will help with several things between reading and eating and conversation, and that should be a decent bit part for me to play on our team. Sometimes I give full effort and sometimes like math class Barbie I decide things are just a bit too tough.

Good work if you can get it. A few thoughts come to mind:

- Doing hard things together as a couple requires communication and effort, which in my case and I believe in every case ultimately means prayer. Prayer with spouse is like prayer squared. The connection goes from 1:1 to 2:1 in all directions. Anybody in a relationship is going to want to use this gift. I cannot do this on my own logic of what is enough. If Prayer with Spouse were sitting on the bookstore shelf in a package, I would whip out my credit card.

- My perceptions of how I am contributing are often invented to fit my wants. When it comes to childcare it's often in the form of the belief that just enough is enough. I take magic carpet rides in logic across the spectrum - in my perception of finances, friendships, image etc. If you write this stuff down and have another look the next day you may find that a 6-year old uses better logic. Suddenly it's easier to see why people look to a higher power for guidance and grounding.

I pray to better understand the gifts that have been given to me and be led to use them accordingly.