Any given sunday

This past Sunday, I was hoping to volunteer for a local women's shelter
to serve food; however, my services were not needed as there were
plenty of volunteers already. As a result, I decided to attend the
evening service at Church, as usual. I was in a fine frame of mind, and content to not be volunteering--instead I would be able to sit with my friends at Church...because that is what Church is supposed to be about right? Socializing, ahem "fellowship?" Well, no, not really. As I hustled out the door of my apartment to go to Church,
I recognized that my heart was not in the right place--my desire to attend Church was not to worship God, but rather to meet and greet. So, I tossed up a perfunctory prayer, asking the Lord to enable me to focus on Him during the service. Yet, I knew as I prayed that I was not earnestly seeking Him. I was not acknowledging who He is--Creator, Father, King-of-Kings--or that He is far worthier of my praise than any social distractions.

When it was time for the sermon, I was eager to hear what the message for the day would be...and as usual, my heart was loaded with the ammunition of criticism, ready to critique whatever portions of the sermon I deemed under-developed or extraneous. Looking back on it now, I see the malice and pride in my heart, more like a vulture than a follower of Christ. Fortunately, this ammunition was useless. It was overcome by a thought-provoking sermon. The sermon's text was a handful of verses where Paul lists the prayers he has had on behalf of the Ephesisans. Paul's prayers for the Ephesians asked for God's provision of the following: (1) that they would know Him, (2) that they would see the hope of the gospel, and (3) that they would see the power they had through Christ. In comparing Paul's prayers for the Ephesians to my prayers for friends and family, I notice a stark contrast in content. My prayers are bogged down in the specifics; for example "grant them safety in travel, give them the opportunites and successes they want, heal them," etc. And, admittedly, my requests for myself are very much the same. But why? Why should I desire mortal health or earthly wealth for myself and others? Are those really the things I hold most dear, that my prayers to the Lord of Heaven and Earth would consist of such empty requests? How selfish, shallow, short-sighted and most of all ignorant.

After listening to the sermon, I was reminded that what I really want for those I love and for myself is the opportunity for us to know God. If I really consider the immense joy and fulfillment of knowing Him and experiencing His vast love, then why would I ask for anything else? Why would I settle for anything less?

So, I am asking God, the loving father who sees this peccator as worthwhile in His sight because of the sacrifice of Christ, to grant me a new heart that seeks to know Him first. And if knowing Him means fame, and fortune, and opportunity on Earth, bring it. But if knowing Him means pain, and suffering, and trials on Earth, then I can face that, too. I know in my heart that wealth, success, or beauty cannot ever fulfill me; only knowing Him can. If only I can get this understanding in my heart to penetrate the thoughts of my mind.


"Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." -Jesus

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