What to wear...

So the other night as I was coming up from the lobby in my building, a tall woman raced into the elevator just before the doors closed to join me for the trip up.  For any man who is both A) married and b) has cable television, the face on the woman was readily identifiable -- it was Stacy London from "What not to wear."  Her facial features and fashion sense make her easy to recognize.

http://www.thefashionablehousewife.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/stacy.jpg

For the three married men in the world who haven't been forced to watch this show at some point in their lives, its basic premise is simple.

Step One.  Find someone who doesn't dress "well" according to the world's standards.

Step Two.  Immediately presume that not dressing well is a reflection of that person's low self-esteem.

Step Three.  Fix the way that person dresses -- problems of dress and self-esteem are solved instantly.

I will confess that on more than one occasion, despite my best efforts NOT to pay attention, I have been sucked into the drama of watching these "ugly ducklings" have their lives transformed.  Often, though not always, the "before" person is an insecure woman, dressed  in dowdy clothes that try to hide her body from the world.  By the time the 30 minute program has finished, the show's bashful participant has been "transformed" into a confident woman replete with a new wardrobe of the latest fashions.  In every respect, the "transformation" has appeared to have its intended effect -- deep issues of insecurity covered by sets of beautiful new clothes.

As I reflect on it though, I wonder why the show rarely if ever does follow-ups.  I wonder what these women are dressed like in one month, three months, six months...  a year from the completion of the "transformation."  See the problem is that the world's fashions fade.  They constantly have to be updated...  If you don't hit the stores every week, you risk falling behind.  And if you fall behind, the original wound that these woman were working so hard to hide from the world is re-exposed.

In some ways, I wonder if the show actually makes the problems worse for these women.  Can you imagine the feeling of exposure and nakedness you might have if, after going on the show and being "transformed," you regressed back to your old habits?  If you felt like a failure BEFORE, I can't even imagine the self-loathing AFTER failing.  What hope do you have then?  Getting to go on the show "What not to not wear?"  And, yet, I am willing to wager that over a long enough time horizon -- ALL of them fail to keep up. Even Stacy London will eventually fail to keep up.  The task that is set before these women is just too great -- to cover our shame with constantly changing new clothes?

Before I sound too condemning of the show and its premise, it is worth remember two things: 1) there is nothing actually wrong with wanting to look nice 2) I am just as bad about wanting to "fix" my own problems with a quick cover-up as anyone else.

Briefly, where there is no law, there is no sin.  Jesus never tells us "don't look nice or dress up nice."  He merely tells us not to get too distracted by the world's fashion.  If we place fashion above Him, then we're creating a meaningless idol out of fashion -- a road that ultimately leads to bondage and death.  If we can enjoy the pleasures of clothes without being dependent on having them to drive our sense of self worth, we should feel free to enjoy fashion.  If we can't, then we need to give it up.  This is an individual level decision that is between us and Jesus -- no one else can know what is on our hearts, so we can't allow anyone else to "tell us" our own answer.  Similarly, it isn't our place to judge someone else for having nice clothes.  

Lastly, I am as guilty as anyone at trying to use different "outfits" to cover my insecurity and wounds.  It always seems easier to try on my be a  "good father," " good provider," or "good athlete" persona, than to deal with the REAL problem -- me.  I am the problem.   I am not good enough and I will never be good enough no matter how hard I try.  Just like these women, despite my secret hope that I can "fix" myself, deep inside I know I can't.  I can try to "cover" my shame with different things that the world values, but as long as I do this, I will remain deeply vulnerable.

My real hope, the participants' real hope, rests in admitting that our hearts are turned inwards -- they are selfish and self-righteous, worthy of being ashamed of...  Thankfully, Jesus tells us what to wear.  He is willing to cover us in His glory and righteousness, even though we don't deserve it.  All we have to do is to recognize our need for Him and receive the blessing of the Holy Spirit.  Now THAT is a cool looking outfit.

Praise the Lord.

CPP

Any given sunday

This past Sunday, I was hoping to volunteer for a local women's shelter
to serve food; however, my services were not needed as there were
plenty of volunteers already. As a result, I decided to attend the
evening service at Church, as usual. I was in a fine frame of mind, and content to not be volunteering--instead I would be able to sit with my friends at Church...because that is what Church is supposed to be about right? Socializing, ahem "fellowship?" Well, no, not really. As I hustled out the door of my apartment to go to Church,
I recognized that my heart was not in the right place--my desire to attend Church was not to worship God, but rather to meet and greet. So, I tossed up a perfunctory prayer, asking the Lord to enable me to focus on Him during the service. Yet, I knew as I prayed that I was not earnestly seeking Him. I was not acknowledging who He is--Creator, Father, King-of-Kings--or that He is far worthier of my praise than any social distractions.

When it was time for the sermon, I was eager to hear what the message for the day would be...and as usual, my heart was loaded with the ammunition of criticism, ready to critique whatever portions of the sermon I deemed under-developed or extraneous. Looking back on it now, I see the malice and pride in my heart, more like a vulture than a follower of Christ. Fortunately, this ammunition was useless. It was overcome by a thought-provoking sermon. The sermon's text was a handful of verses where Paul lists the prayers he has had on behalf of the Ephesisans. Paul's prayers for the Ephesians asked for God's provision of the following: (1) that they would know Him, (2) that they would see the hope of the gospel, and (3) that they would see the power they had through Christ. In comparing Paul's prayers for the Ephesians to my prayers for friends and family, I notice a stark contrast in content. My prayers are bogged down in the specifics; for example "grant them safety in travel, give them the opportunites and successes they want, heal them," etc. And, admittedly, my requests for myself are very much the same. But why? Why should I desire mortal health or earthly wealth for myself and others? Are those really the things I hold most dear, that my prayers to the Lord of Heaven and Earth would consist of such empty requests? How selfish, shallow, short-sighted and most of all ignorant.

After listening to the sermon, I was reminded that what I really want for those I love and for myself is the opportunity for us to know God. If I really consider the immense joy and fulfillment of knowing Him and experiencing His vast love, then why would I ask for anything else? Why would I settle for anything less?

So, I am asking God, the loving father who sees this peccator as worthwhile in His sight because of the sacrifice of Christ, to grant me a new heart that seeks to know Him first. And if knowing Him means fame, and fortune, and opportunity on Earth, bring it. But if knowing Him means pain, and suffering, and trials on Earth, then I can face that, too. I know in my heart that wealth, success, or beauty cannot ever fulfill me; only knowing Him can. If only I can get this understanding in my heart to penetrate the thoughts of my mind.


"Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." -Jesus

RSP

just enough...

Raising little ones is suprisingly hard.

Which can too bad from my perspective.

My wife has again been spending hours with a tot who has found it’s fun to be held and the best way to stay held is to cry when put down. Feeding the tot takes several hours a day. The tot’s older sister has arranged 40 forks on the floor around a table in the yellow room and neatly placed her Halloween costumes on the furniture. She has gotten good with scissors, but not so good at cleaning up. Her ideal day is 8 hours of play, 3 hours of reading and maybe 30 seconds for bath, brushing teeth, cleaning up and getting dressed and undressed.

Most often, my wife will sort out and clean all this up before anyone from the outside world arrives, and I will chip in here and there... I filled in full time a while back, with plenty of babysitting help, and it was exhausting. Not just exhausting but you have to have complete organization or things spiral.

So, when I get home after a day of work that is easier than taking care of two little ones, I will help with several things between reading and eating and conversation, and that should be a decent bit part for me to play on our team. Sometimes I give full effort and sometimes like math class Barbie I decide things are just a bit too tough.

Good work if you can get it. A few thoughts come to mind:

- Doing hard things together as a couple requires communication and effort, which in my case and I believe in every case ultimately means prayer. Prayer with spouse is like prayer squared. The connection goes from 1:1 to 2:1 in all directions. Anybody in a relationship is going to want to use this gift. I cannot do this on my own logic of what is enough. If Prayer with Spouse were sitting on the bookstore shelf in a package, I would whip out my credit card.

- My perceptions of how I am contributing are often invented to fit my wants. When it comes to childcare it's often in the form of the belief that just enough is enough. I take magic carpet rides in logic across the spectrum - in my perception of finances, friendships, image etc. If you write this stuff down and have another look the next day you may find that a 6-year old uses better logic. Suddenly it's easier to see why people look to a higher power for guidance and grounding.

I pray to better understand the gifts that have been given to me and be led to use them accordingly.

an afternoon at the MOMA

So yesterday afternoon I decided to do something that, historically, has been very rare for me -- I decided to go visit a museum.  Not just any museum.  The MOMA.  The museum of modern art.  The epicenter of NYC "cool."  

In reflecting on it, I think I have stayed away from this place for two reasons:

1) I have always thought modern art was sort of a joke -- something that my 11 month old son could accomplish if he could just direct his drool onto a canvas and change its color...

2) I used to feel very intimidated and excluded by the "hipsters" walking around there.  I felt "judged" and "inadequate" -- like there was an inside joke and I just didn't get it.  If I really got it then I would understand the need to wear skin tight jeans, square eyeglasses, black shirts and converse sneakers.  Instead, clothed in khakis and a polo I remain destined to stand out as someone who "doesn't belong."

I think I realized something yesterday.  The MOMA is a church.  It is a church for humanists and nihilists.  For people that don't believe in God...  That have no hope.  I went thinking that I would do well just to "fit in" for an hour or two and I left feeling empathy and sadness for the artists and the patrons...  also for myself. 

Briefly, the term "modern" art encapsulates most art from the late 1800's onward.  The thread that unifies seemingly disparate artists such as Picasso, Dali and Hirst is their willingness to "disregard the past."  Free of the burden of "perspective" and the "laws of nature" these artists create works that are designed to reflect the world and man as they "really" see it.  The emphasis is usually on the "shocking" and "provocative."

What I believe these artists identify correctly is the brokenness of the world and of themselves.  Shame on me for not taking their work more seriously -- these people are not drooling on canvas.  The "output" might be easily recreatable (is that a word?), but the "input" -- the suffering, the insight, the pain, that is all quite real and quite serious.  It is no joke.  There is little doubt in my mind that their art correctly reflects a world without God.  A world without "rules" or "purpose..."  a world that appears random, chaotic, evil and painful.  Their work calls attention to the plight of the everyday man -- from the mockery of machines (modern artists seem to love nothing more than hating on capitalists inventions like the assembly line) to the hopelessness of the goals we all strive for...  

The problem, of course, is that there is no hope in modern art.  Once we "give up" on tradition like these artists -- once we decide "we can make our own rules," the story always ends the same -- in utter despair.  We can't save ourselves.  Even the most talented and wonderful artists -- like Leonardo DaVinci (with paint and sculpture) and William Shakespeare (with words), come to the end of themselves, the end of their lives and are utterly despondent.  Why?  Because they do it all for their own glory and some ideal of achieving salvation and perfection.  They can't process the brokenness of the world and of themselves and stay sane.  It is too much.  Their insight and understanding into human nature crushes them.  If these men, these geniuses fell short, what hope do the rest of us have?

This is serious business.  I might have looked at these "hipsters" with cynicism, but now I realize, in my own way, I am one of them.  I am just like them -- it turns out even though I don't know the dress code, I too belong with them.  Every time I try to do anything (not just drawing or painting) without praising God or following his law, I too am trying to color outside the lines.  Coloring outside the lines, while tempting because it speaks to my pride's desires to "create my own rules," ultimately always fails.  

The thing I am missing and these artists and hipsters are too, is that there ARE rules, God's rules.  There are lines, God's lines.  There IS hope, God's hope.  When we obey his two commands -- to love Him and love others, we can find the freedom and peace that our heart's desire.  There is boundless joy in that.  There is boundless freedom.  All we have to sacrifice to access it, is the pride we take in ourselves (which isn't worth anything anyway -- just ask Shakespeare and DaVinci).  

Incidentally, once this is done, then we will have true freedom to "create" in celebration of our Lord.  We will have no fear of failure or rejection.  It is why the music of someone like J.S. Bach is so powerful, so moving, so true and yet so hopeful.  Since, while it recognizes the brokenness of the world and ourselves, it also points towards a higher truth and perfect love that overcomes the world and ourselves -- the love of Jesus.  

Now THAT is something worth painting about.

Praise the Lord.

CPP

Father Figure

A few weeks ago I was upstairs in my house and I looked out into my back yard and saw my oldest son practicing soccer. He was working tirelessly on his foot skills – something I suggested he do if wanted to get better. Next year he is going to have to try out for the traveling team where they begin breaking kids up by their skill level. I stood looking out the window - for a period of time I can’t recall - just watching him and hoping the moment would last forever. I found myself wishing that I would always be able to look out my window and see my children playing in my backyard. The more I think about my relationship with my children one thing becomes clearer and clearer to me, my relationship with them is selfish; it is as much about me and as it is about them.

I think that most people with children want to be viewed as a good parent. Let me repeat that, most people with children want to be VIEWED as a good parent. We want our friends to think well of us. We seek reassurance from our peers that we are a good parent – “Oh look at what a great father BDP is, he coaches his son’s soccer team.” We are incapable of thinking that we are anything but the perfect parent. What are our true motivations for wanting to be good parents? Is it truly for the sole benefit of our kids or is it something else. I am suspect of what my true motivations are because I don’t trust myself when it comes to things like this. It is far too easy to allow our own selfish pride to steer our decisions. Why do I want my son to be a good soccer player? He simply loves playing the game, it doesn’t really matter to him who he is playing against. Do I want him on the “A team” because it is better for him or for me?

We all want great things for our children, to go to the best schools, to be the best athlete and to have lots of friends. Why do we want these things? Do we want them because it is really best thing for them or do we want them because how these things reflects on us? Sadly I suspect far too often it is the latter rather than the former. I am guilty of this. I don’t read to my kids as much as I should, I don’t play with them as much as I should, I don’t have nearly as much patience with them as I should and I don’t love them as deeply and honestly as I should. I push them to succeed in areas in which I have failed. My children deserve better. I am not perfect and I can never hope to be. The one thing I must do is make sure they know that they do have another father who is perfect in every way.

God please help me, help me be a better father. I know I can’t do it on my own.

BDP

Does God want me to join the pool club?

Yes, I am prepared to admit that this is a facially absurd question.  There are number of things that rushed immediately to my mind when i first asked myself this...  a lot of them inconsistent with one another.

 -- "Well, of course not, i'm supposed to give all my money to the poor"

 -- "I am supposed to provide for my family as a father and part of that means providing a safe place for my son to play"

 -- "I don't want to expose my family to lavish displays of greed and wealth"

 -- "This is only a modest 'expense' so it's really. O.K., I am still being a good steward of my resources"


The fact is, not withstanding the subject at the end of the sentence "pool club," there are a lot of things for which I ask this question and concoct a conflicting series of answers.  Depending on which answer I choose, I can decide that I am being "righteous" or "unrighteous,"  "good" or "bad," and judge myself and others accordingly.  Even now as I look at that question "Does God want me" I can see my own claims to righteousness being spelled out on the page...  as though somehow I am the elect and different from everyone else and God has chosen ME to be the one to do something.   The question does not sincerely have a humble heart, it presupposes that I would deserve to be chosen by God for anything.  That, as we all know, is doggy doo -- I am a mess and deserve nothing.

I have spent sometime mulling this question over.  I now believe, at least for me, that it is the wrong question to try to answer.  I have tried to replace that question, which, again, presupposes my entitlement, with two new questions:

1)  Am I doing this for God's glory or my own?

2)  Am I replacing my love for Him with my love for XY or Z and could I give up XY or Z in "30 seconds" if God wanted me to be somewhere else or have something else?

I am STILL pretty sure I am not even capable of being honest enough to answer these questions.  My heart is so manipulative in its desire to get what it wants, that I will probably now tell myself that:

 "Yeah, well, I'm joining this pool club because it is good for my son and we can't seed ground to Satan.  I mean C.S. Lewis said 'good philosophy must exist if for no other reason than to respond to bad philosophy.'  People should know that just because you are surrounded by physical comfort does not negate your need for God.  Joining this club is really me serving God (Question 1, Check).   And, OF COURSE, I don't need to be a member.  I can give it up in a heartbeat.  There is nothing written on my heart that says 'I've just GOT to belong here.'  I will have no problem quitting if my financial resources become more constrained or if I feel like my time at the pool club is distracting me from my primary mission of loving God and loving others (Question 2, Check)."

For now, this really is my answer.  I am confessing my answer...  because I hope it is the truth and I am so unsure of my own judgment that I know I need to confess it.  At least with my answer exposed to the light of day, those that love me (for no good reason) can look at it and say:

"Uhh... dude, WHAT are you talking about? You're gonna do WHAT?!?!"
or
 "I think, for now, it is OK, but you'll need to watch yourself, because the comforts of that place could seduce even that most ardent saint... and you, my friend, ain't no saint."

So I am joining the pool club.  Please pray for me.

CPP

"i dont really care what anyone else thinks,"

he said.  "ultimately, i'm doing this for me."   -chad kellogg, seattle, washington.  speed climber.  october 15th, 2011.


this morning on the front page of the nytimes, there is an article about the 'new breed of climbers' around the world -- those who are trying to set speed records ascending difficult routes.  they are tackling routes that used to take days or even weeks of planning in hours.

there was a time, not that long ago, in fact, where reading an article like this would inspire me.  i loved reading about obsessive training regimes, the meaning found in intense suffering and generally sharing in the apparent excitement of an individual capable of rising above himself -- transcending the rest of humanity.   for a moment, it appeared to me, perhaps these people could find a way to justify themselves before everyone...  they could accomplish something so marvelous that their exhaustive efforts would complete the circle.  they would have 'done it.'   they would have saved themselves and their efforts would give them a claim to righteousness.

see what appears like asceticism to some -- complete with a "monk-like" self-discipline in pursuit of a seemingly impossible physical task, is, at its core, just humanist philosophy.  i, like so many of us, am SO vulnerable to it, because as a human being it is woven into my bankrupt heart to believe "i can do it."  this is the same belief system all humanist philosophy throughout the ages has preached to our hearts and though its expression is different (athletics instead of arts), the core message is the same.  its siren call is seductive precisely because it preaches to what my heart wants -- salvation that doesn't have to include me forfeiting claims to greatness.  just like chad kellogg, i can say "i'm doing this for me."

it is predictable how this story ends -- these people, even chad kellogg, can't save themselves; none of us can.  there is always something that gets in the way of the perfection we seek -- it is ourselves.  the greatest athletes and the greatest artists who perform for their own glory ALWAYS find this truth out about themselves in the end -- "i'm not good enough."  lost of hope even in themselves, they often end up miserable and suicidal.  history and current events are replete with examples -- from leonardo da vinci and william shakespeare to mike tyson and tiger woods...  each generation of humanist philosophers who say, "ultimately i'm doing this for me," find out the hard way that not only can they can never achieve the perfection they seek, but also they, in of themselves, are not a cause worth living for.  in that moment of course, God's grace and God's promise finds its best opportunity to take hold.  after all, what is the good news except the truth about ourselves -- that we are fallen and inadequate, coupled with the truth about Him -- that he loves us all the same and we are justified through Christ.

before i judge too harshly, however, it bears remembering that, in my own small and less dramatic ways, i do the same thing chad kellogg does each day.  every time i approach a task without recognizing that I am a sinner and without giving Him the glory, i run the risk of falling back on claims to my own righteousness.  it might sound ridiculous, but even things as simple as making a good cup of coffee.  if i make my wife a really good cup of coffee, without praising God, pretty soon i'm feeling self-satisfied about my coffee making abilities.  if i do it for long enough, pretty soon i will be convinced that if i can JUST make the PERFECT cup of coffee then i can save myself.  sound crazy?  yeah, well i never said i wasn't a peccator.

going to go have my morning cup of java and praise the Lord.

What goes up must come down.

Two months ago, we tried to start the music again. I want to be singing “Love and Happiness” to my wife or “Walking on Sunshine”, not just reciting dry poetry to each other that we remember from our earlier days. But I don’t do that. I usually treat her like my sister, or colleague, or friend, not my wife. And I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want the way that I treat her to be motivated by guilt and obligation. I don’t want to merely love her the way that I ought or should. I don’t want to treat her remembering that this has worked before. I want to be motivated by desire and love. I want to have a relationship that is concerned with loving each other and not concerned with merely my own needs and own schedule. Well, this conversation happens regularly. Usually she brings it up, unfortunately. I usually don’t notice that it has happened again. “Whoops, I did it again.”

Well, we are two months in from our conversation, and I can feel myself slipping back down again. I gave her a little peck on the cheek when I came home from work and realized that I was falling back into my same pattern. The tell tale signs are all there, I am falling back down again. The conversation of two months ago has faded. The efforts that I put in initially are getting fainter. I have no answer for this other than the fact that I hate that I do it and I can’t seem to avoid it. I get jolted up when it becomes really bad. I say that I am sorry and we start again. But that period only lasts a little while- about two months. So here I am again, what goes up, must come down. And I am it: I go up for a little while and then I inevitably come down. Lord help me.

Getting fired

Just about three years ago, I got pulled into an office and told my services, as of that moment, would no longer be necessary.  I was told the contents of my desk would be boxed up and shipped home to me.  Could I please turn over my secure id?

"Someone from human resources will now escort you to the elevator banks..."

It was shattering.  

My identity was crushed in 30 seconds.  Who was I if not a big time finance guy?  How would I respond when people asked me the innocent question 'so what do you do?'   What would I say to my wife, my friends...  my in-laws? 

It was deeply painful and embarrassing.

Some people have gone through an experience similar to mine, others haven't.  I used to feel bad for people who were in my position... and envy those who never had to feel my humiliation.  I have since changed my thinking.  I secretly feel bad for those who haven't been fired.

See there are two kinds of 'getting fired,'

There is the 'getting fired' where we are 'to blame' (we genuinely acknowledge that we didn't deserve the employment because we screwed up.  let's call that FBITB (fired because I am to blame)

Then there is the 'getting fired' where we can point to something exogenous as the cause --  downsizing, restructuring, whatever.  And whatever whatever is, it isn't MY fault.  let's call this FBOTB (fired because others are to blame).

I am willing to bet that most people when they are being led to the elevator bank (like an execution) think it is a FBOTB.  Not everyone of course, but most of us.  It is certainly what I was thinking while I was being led out the door...  "this is ridiculous"  or "this isn't fair"  or "it is ok, they had to make reductions, I understand but it really doesn't have anything to do with me"

See my FBOTB reaction was me doing one thing...  protecting myself, protecting my ego... Shielding myself from reality.  I was hiding from FBITB...

Those secret truths that FBITB whispers when I am naked only with myself.  Home and alone without the identity of a job to shield me... "geez. Maybe I am not as good as I think I am.  Maybe I am not as valuable as I think i am.  Maybe this company doesn't really need me.  Maybe I am worthless."

Those voices can be hard to shake once you hear them echo.  They cut through right to my soul.  they can't be right?  Right?  I mean I know I am good and talented.  Maybe I should just pick up another self-help book.  Yeah.  That will make me feel better.

So I spent a couple of days at home feeling bad and defending my ego constantly against attacks until I couldn't stand it.  I HAD to get another job.  I just HAD to.  I had to interview with as many people as fast possible.  I would silence the voices of FBITB by getting a job.

There was no alternative right?

At least I didn't think so. So I found a job. Not fast, but fast enough. I escaped the sufficating voices. I did it. Once again clothed in my familiar identity as a 'big time finance professional' those voices couldn't penetrate me. I was safe. Or at least safe until I got fired again.

 It has taken me a long time to come to terms with even the possibility of being FBITB. And yet the more I reflect on it, the more I realize it is the truth. I did deserve it. I wasn't good enough. The voices are not going away because they remain for a reason -- they speak to the truth about my life. I am just not good enough... 

there actually always is a valid reason for getting fired? Why? Because i am not perfect, i am human, i make mistakes. but that doesn't just apply to my professional life (which is the primary source of most male identity and sense of worthiness)... that reality and truth applies to everything I do. As a father, as a husband, as a friend... each of these jobs I might do well, but I can never do perfectly. And it is my secret fear that one day I will be exposed in that imperfection in some harsh and cruel way. Someday someone might say 'you are fired!' I may want it to be a FBOTB but in the quiet of the night with nothing to shelter me from the voices i will secretly know that in some way my imperfections could justify the firing...

It happened to me in my professional life, but the reality of my inadequacy cuts cross every area of my life. I am afraid of those exposures.  These are my fears because secretly they are my truths and so I run from them. I run hard.

 There are no alternatives right?

I used to think that. Now I realize that is wrong. There was a man who came before me, 2000 years ago. His historical reality no one can deny (there is no debate He was a real person and He lived). He is perfect. He can NEVER be FBITB. There is no cause or claim anyone can hold against Him. And He delivered this message to me and to everyone:

"Those voices you hear are right. You are not what you want to be and you will always fall short of the real glory you seek. They were right to fire you... but I love you. I love you anyway. I love you no matter what. The entire world can fire you but I will still love you. I will still have a job for you -- love me with all your heart and love others as yourself."

 It is the message of the gospel. It is the gift of grace. I am talking of course about Jesus. So the real truth, for me, and for the world, is that I got fired from my job for good reason and I got fired from my life for good reason (FBITB)...  BUT I got a new job, a new life, a permanent and everlasting hope in Him. Jesus is hiring.  Praise the Lord.