i grew up in a house that liked to put other people down. my family seemed to unite behind creative insults lobbed at people outside our nest. it took me a long time to realize it -- it certainly wasnt until after i was married that i really understood the impact this had on me.
i fed (and still do sadly) on creative and seemingly innocent put downs of other people. the objective truth is that years of practice have left me quite good at it. i can verbally fence with the best of them.
recently, however. i have started realizing how destructive this behavior is in relationships. i find myself inadvertendly poking fun at a friend or speaking in ways that deflate someone else's self-esteem. i tell myself that it is innocent and though in its intent it might be, the effect is v real. lately i have been wondering do my snide remarks in these encounters (typically a group laugh at another's expense) leave people feeling better about themselves or do they leave me feeling better (or superior) about myself? i know the answer and i don't like it.
i need help.
Lord, please forgive me. Forgive my selfish and flippant use of language. my words are spiteful and divisive. i throw myself on the cross and ask the Holy Spirit to command my tongue.
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