How does this work again?

It's been a while since I put pen to paper... or hands to keys. There are a lot of possible excuses -- I moved, I lost my job, my wife had a baby. They all circumvent the truth which is that I haven't felt like confessing. When I am tired or worn out or stressed, the last thing I want to do is make public my shortcomings. "I already feel bad enough as it is," I tell myself. I want to tuck myself into the fetal position and hide. The flaw in this logic is obvious, but it's also the truth about how I have behaved. I have been hiding from my sins and sinfulness -- masking the tingling of my conscience with "more pressing" concerns.  If i keep myself busy enough, i can almost quiet the Holy Spirit.

I have been kidding myself though.  My heart is still twisted and dark.  Greed for this world consumes me.  The recent move from a city to a suburb has pulled me out of the community of believers that I knew and encouraged lazy and self-involved habits.  It is always my bias to avoid community and exposure.  i admit that i have been hiding. 

I don't have any profound insight to offer about my need for confession...  just that it has been too long and I confess my need to reengage -- not because my heart can be changed, but because without the renewal of confession and redemption through Jesus I will self-destruct.

Lord, please forgive me for ignoring You.  Forgive me for my bad prayer life, forgive me for my arrogance, conceit, greed and lack of mercy.  Thank you for the gift of grace.  Thank you for your son Jesus Christ.  Please help me see where my real treasure is.